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Standing, Waiting, Wondering

03/09/2010 by studentdriver

Stand in the place where you live
Now face North
Think about direction
Wonder why you haven’t before

Type Geek decided, on a whim, to hike the rainforest this weekend. Ok. Well, I guess that I found out about it via Twitter rather than from him, is what is bothering me. All I think about lately is where I stand with him, and where I think I want to stand. We need to talk, but I am afraid of the answer. I don’t think it is what I want to actually here.

If you are confused, check with the sun
Carry a compass to help you along
Your feet are going to be on the ground
Your head is there to move you around, so

I needed to test a theory, and perhaps it isn’t ethical how I am doing it. No one gets hurt in the process though, except perhaps me. Will the damage be  less painful this way though or through actual confrontation? It’s the way of getting the answers, without asking the questions.

Your feet are going to be on the ground
Your head is there to move you around
If wishes were trees, the trees would be falling
Listen to reason
Season is calling

I am not sure how to end this post. My dilemma of late is this… I am at a threshold. I can choose to care more for him or walk away. The fork doesn’t provide a third option. I am too far in from casual to begin dating other people again while dating him. It isn’t what I want. I realized that he really is an awesome guy, whose company I enjoy immensely and who I have lots of fun in bed with.   Am I ready for the official “boyfriend” thing. No, I don’t think so, but I am ready to not be trying to juggle and wonder. It would be very nice to be comfortable and at ease, without the questions.

I am going to keep myself busy this weekend with saying goodbye to one friend and helping another with some style advice on Sunday before a day of cleaning, sorting and eBay placing on Monday. I am not contacting him again until I hear from him. He is back on Monday night. Let’s see what he has to say. He mentioned coming into my night job on Tuesday with his best friend. I have stopped setting my watch by his whims. We shall see what the new week, and the new season brings.

Posted in Hmmmm | Leave a Comment »

The Things 19 Year Old Boys Will Say…..

01/09/2010 by studentdriver

” Yeah, I’ve done freakier shit than you.”

“I’m really experienced.”

“You’d be surprised at what I could teach you.”

Umm, ok. Really. You think so?!

A young boy at work tried to walk the “check out my huge cock” game this afternoon. He tried to impress me and a male colleague with his exploits. I just kept chuckling as he continued with his glowing self review of his talents and varied experiences. Finally he stopped and questioned why I was laughing at him, using the statements above as his main persuasive arguments. I wasn’t sure of his age prior to this conversation, so I asked. When he told me that he is 19, just turned, I nearly spit out my drink and looked straight at him and replied, dead pan,” I have been having sex LONGER than you have been alive.”

Apparently number of years means nothing, as he equates partners with experience, rather than overall acts. So, he is a little boy slut who is overly confident of his abilities and his skill set. When he told me that he has done freakier shit than me, I also laughed. He assumes, as many do, that because I am cute and femme and blonde… that I am little miss vanilla. Dear, oh dear. I looked him straight in the eye and my retort,” Darlin’, I was part of the goth/ fetish scene in the early 90′s”, was met with a simple, yet solid , ” Yup, you win.”

Of course I win. Don’t judge my box by its cover darlin’. I may look sweet now, but you don’t know about my exhibitionist, role-playing, out-door loving, gender bending, fetish and bondage playing self. You don’t even know that I slept with more women than you have or that I started sleeping with said women when you were in 2nd grade. You have an awful lot of catching up to do my friend.

An hour later, he walks up to me and with his hand on my shoulder, states, in all seriousness,” If you ever want to teach someone some things, hit me up.” 

I am too old to TEACH anyone anything. I want someone who KNOWS how to rock my world, not someone who needs a tutorial, a gps, a compass and a map.

Posted in Amateurs | Leave a Comment »

Gatorade and Sex Hangovers

31/08/2010 by studentdriver

Any complaints or worries I might have had in the past regarding Type Geek and our sexual style burned up over the weekend when he brought his A game to town. He was away on business for most of the week and I wasn’t sure that we would even see each other this weekend, in fact, I was pretty sure we wouldn’t. When he texted me prior to flying back on Friday night and suggested I come by after work I was quite pleased. I assumed we would have a little fun and I would be back home by noon as I knew he had work to do. Apparently I was the only work he had to do, as his meeting was postponed and so, over the next 30 hours, we proceeded to have sex 4 times. They weren’t quickies either. Nor were they predictable relationship style sex. Woo hoo! Right?!

Okay, grass is greener, yada yada…. let me say THIS. Should you compete in sexual olympics during the summer, be certain to consume enough fluids to stay hydrated because moderate dehydration and minor heat stroke the next day while wandering around in the summer heat is awful. Fever, cold sweats, nausea, confusion, weakness… those aren’t the things you want to be feeling the day after a sexual marathon. Blissed out and relaxed, yes. Clammy, pasty and green, not so much.

I guess this goes to show that safe sex isn’t just about std’s but also body maintenance. You’ll blow an engine if you drive a car without oil… you’ll kill your body if you run it without water. I get it, understood. Lesson learned.

Speaking of safe sex…. I’m thinking of going on the pill as a preemptive regulator for my period. Years ago, when I worked with a large rotating group of women, I suffered from the insecure period…it was never the leader. I’d start working with a new woman and bam, I would suddenly be following her cycle, regardless of the fact that I just had my period two weeks earlier. The worst was having my period 3 times in a month and a half. I don’t want to do this again, hence my considering the pill. An obvious benefit of the pill is no longer needing to consider condoms, at least as a form of birth control. It is weird to hear myself say that out loud. I know that it has been nearly a year since I jumped the fence, but somethings are still strange to think about or hear. Ten years ago I switched to a lesbian doctor at a clinic that specialized with the LGBT community because I was sick of the doctors asking, right off the bat, when I had a menstrual issue, “Are you pregnant?”, or even better, “How can you be sure that you aren’t pregnant, we should do tests” . Hmm, until two clits rubbing together can spontaneously create the magic of childbirth… highly unlikely. Jesus Christ

So, anyway, I am considering the pill… I am also considering dumping the condoms with Type Geek. Here comes the question… Neither of us are dating anyone else, do we need to have a conversation about us prior to our conversation about my going on the pill? Can we be casually exclusive? Is there such a thing? Chime in…. and make sure you are drinking your fluids.

Posted in Hmmmm, Lessons, Medical Disclosures | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

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